"We often think of darkness as being horrible and sinister and scary, but there is a lot of good that happens underneath the ground in darkness before spring comes," she said.ĬNN anchor Brooke Baldwin wrote about a similar experience during the depths of her illness. The darkness she fell into had silver linings, like quieting her mind and preparing her to be even more aware of the world around her now that she's recovered. Renée El-Gabalawy, a clinical psychologist at the University of Manitoba, where she runs the Health, Anxiety, and Trauma Lab, told Business Insider that "panic will undoubtedly be higher" during this time, even among people who aren't sick since any bodily change can be interpreted as highly threatening. We are the ones that have to figure it out for everyone else. "Knowing how terrible it makes you feel and not knowing when all of this will end or what will happen to you next is the most terrifying part of this illness," she told Business Insider. Now, she has night terrors and lays awake between 3 am and 7 am, worried that she might stop breathing. She got sick on March 18 and is still battling symptoms. Martha Barrera, who lives in Orange County, New York, has a similar experience. "I asked myself, 'What would happen if I stopped breathing? Am I going to die?'" Ballard, who's staying with her parents in Selma, Alabama, where she's still recovering, told Business Insider. "Is this the moment where I can't breathe, or am I OK still?" said Lisa, whose asked to use her first name only since her company didn't approve her talking to the media. But 15 minutes in, she had to call her husband because she was too weak to make it home. Previously someone who ran four miles daily, she recently felt well enough to go for a walk. "The fatigue and weakness last weeks it seems, and the COVID symptoms will come raging back the minute you accidentally over-exert," Lisa, a media executive in Connecticut who started experiencing mild symptoms in mid- March, told Business Insider. Patients and doctors have reported a "second-week crash" during which people believe they're improving but then get sidelined with symptoms like shortness of breath and body aches. "Will you live? Will you die?"ĭoubts about whether you're truly getting better can mess with your mind, too. Pneumonia or residue inflammation " Nathalie Eisenberg, who lives in New York City and got the virus five weeks ago, told Business Insider. "Not knowing if the pull in your chest is
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